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From MARGINALIA: Life Happens On Tuesdays

Never Say Goodbye I was listening to Bon Jovi's Never Say Goodbye the other day, attempting to sing along, when suddenly I couldn't anymore. I really tried. The words were right there. I knew every one of them. But I couldn't get them past the lump in my throat. For a few minutes, I wasn't here anymore. I was back in a little bedroom in West Valley City with my cousin. We had become close after I moved to Utah when I was 7. She was two years older than me, and as we grew up, we spent a lot of time together. Weekends, sleepovers, music, boys, trouble. Especially trouble. Her parents weren't great with finances. Sometimes blankets hung over the windows instead of curtains. Sometimes the utilities hadn't been paid and the house was freezing. I remember taking cold showers there because there wasn't any hot water. It didn't matter. I wanted to be there because she w...
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Chocolate on Chicken

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  Chocolate on Chicken Babel, Love and the Limits of Understanding I was recently listening to a presentaion about how easily we can misunderstand someone whose life experiences are radically different from our own. The speaker made some excellent observations that stood out to me. We don't only hear another person's words. We interpret those words through everything we already believe about the person speaking. Their upbringing, relationships, culture and experiences have shaped the way they communicate. Our upbringing, relationships, culture and experiences have shaped the way we interpret them. And those two worlds don't necessarily overlap. A person we trust makes an awkward remark, and we give them the benefit of context. A person we distrust makes the identical remark, and suddenly it becomes evidence of everything we already suspected about them. The words haven't changed. Our interpretation has.  Trying to u...
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Reasoning Together Workshop

I'm really excited about this upcoming workshop. I believe it has the potential to be a valuable experience for everyone who participates, not only as we work toward better understanding our differing perspectives, but as we practice reasoning together with charity, patience and mutual respect.  OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT Reasoning Together Workshop Defining the Dispute Regarding the Statement of Principles November 7–8, 2026 Utah County All members of the Covenant Christian community are invited to participate in this workshop focused on better understanding the differing perspectives surrounding the Statement of Principles. This is the first in a series of workshops where we will labor together. In order to attend the workshop, individuals must register by Saturday, October 17th. This gathering will provide an opportunity to listen...
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Drifting Through The Gyre

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  The Things We Cannot Learn Alone I love Andrew Bird and Fiona Apple’s “Left-Handed Kisses.” I’ve been dissecting it recently, since songs have a habit of moving into my  brain and rearranging the furniture.  On its surface, it’s a love song, of sorts. Andrew Bird enters as the ultimate skeptic. He doesn't buy into fate, and he certainly isn't in the market for romantic twitterpation. Yet, despite his best intellectual defenses, an inconvenient woman is now standing squarely in the middle of his carefully calibrated worldview. Somehow, out of everyone on Earth, he stumbled into her. And now the skeptic is writing a love song. Fiona Apple is entirely unimpressed. While he analyzes the mystery of finding her and reaches for increasingly elaborate language to describe it, she keeps interrupting the argument. Her counterpoint is simple: That is very clever. But will you actually risk anything? The more I’ve l...
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