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Forgiveness As A Practice

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  Forgiveness As A Practice, Not A Switch  I’d love to know how others approach the idea of forgiveness, because it’s something I’ve been re-examining in my own life recently. Even when we intellectually know that healing takes time, it’s so easy to absorb the assumption that genuine forgiveness should instantly erase anger, grief or the need for caution. After a recent conversation about judgment and charity, I’ve been considering how forgiveness functions less like flipping a switch and more like a repeated turning of the heart. I’m curious what this brings up for others. Jesus gives commandments aimed at our sanctification without suggesting perfection arrives instantly We don't heart "Be ye therefore perfect." And expect immediate perfection. Yet when commanded to "forgive all men."  We often treat lingering pain,  anger or struggle as evidence of spiritual failure. But I don't thing that assumption  holds. Commandments are i...
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From MARGINALIA: Life Happens On Tuesdays

Never Say Goodbye I was listening to Bon Jovi's Never Say Goodbye the other day, attempting to sing along, when suddenly I couldn't anymore. I really tried. The words were right there. I knew every one of them. But I couldn't get them past the lump in my throat. For a few minutes, I wasn't here anymore. I was back in a little bedroom in West Valley City with my cousin. We had become close after I moved to Utah when I was 7. She was two years older than me, and as we grew up, we spent a lot of time together. Weekends, sleepovers, music, boys, trouble. Especially trouble. Her parents weren't great with finances. Sometimes blankets hung over the windows instead of curtains. Sometimes the utilities hadn't been paid and the house was freezing. I remember taking cold showers there because there wasn't any hot water. It didn't matter. I wanted to be there because she w...
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Chocolate on Chicken

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  Chocolate on Chicken Babel, Love and the Limits of Understanding I was recently listening to a presentaion about how easily we can misunderstand someone whose life experiences are radically different from our own. The speaker made some excellent observations that stood out to me. We don't only hear another person's words. We interpret those words through everything we already believe about the person speaking. Their upbringing, relationships, culture and experiences have shaped the way they communicate. Our upbringing, relationships, culture and experiences have shaped the way we interpret them. And those two worlds don't necessarily overlap. A person we trust makes an awkward remark, and we give them the benefit of context. A person we distrust makes the identical remark, and suddenly it becomes evidence of everything we already suspected about them. The words haven't changed. Our interpretation has.  Trying to u...
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